Be soft with your skin

December 09, 2021 1 Comment

Be soft with your skin

Your face is a fractal representation of YOU. Every organ and vertebrae, all the good times and hard times, our strengths and weaknesses are all directly reflected in our skin.  It tells the story of your life in real time and holds the truth of who you are. It shows where there is balance and harmony and what is there to be let go of, when you are ready. 

I wanted to share a couple experiences I’ve had with clients over the years and the significant changes that have occurred in their skin. Not because of a product or facial technique, but from this understanding that the fascia holds information about ourselves and our lives and when we work with this awareness profound shifts and healing can occur. 

My goal in sharing these stories is the hope that it inspires us to look at the face differently, to bring a softness to the way we care for our skin and ourselves. 

We need to remember how to listen; to listen with your fingertips when massaging your products into the skin and notice what you feel. Listen with your body and notice where tension, expansion or contraction arises. Listen with your emotions and sit with the feelings, this is where real change happens.  A willingness to truly be with ourselves is often all that is needed, this isn’t easy with the pace of the world and the endless distractions, but I have found vanity to be a good motivator and the payoff is priceless. I believe the world is always nudging us towards our true selves and highest potential. When we are stuck, out of alignment or in our own way it will find ways to get us back on track. Usually starting with whispers that gradually get louder and louder. The face will of course reflect this as well, the answer isn’t more injections or intensive treatments but, in my opinion, true beauty will be found when we find our way back home to our authentic self. 

The goal is not and should not be to look 25 forever, so rather than emphasizing on the words “youthful”, I’d prefer to aim for vibrant, glowing, radiant and healthy. 

The first experience I want to share is a bit heavy and unfortunately so common. The scenario and circumstances may differ from one client to the next but the underlying trauma is one I have encountered countless times, honestly what felt like nearly weekly if not daily at times. This may be triggering for some and if it stirs up emotions or a memory for you I encourage you to find the support you need. The memories generally only emerge when we are in a safe space in our lives to process them but they may catapult us back to the age from when the trauma occurred. So you may be reading this at 50 but suddenly feel like your 9 yr old self. Find a safe and supportive person and place for this part of you to process this. 

I had a beautiful young client come see me for painful cystic acne that she had been dealing with for years. She had so much shame and embarrassment around her skin and always kept it concealed with a thick layer of makeup. Our sessions together helped uncover the root of her breakouts, reproductive health imbalances and issues regarding food and body image that stemmed from repeated and repressed sexual abuse throughout her childhood. There are many many reasons why we get cystic acne, this is just one clients experience and I only want to share so people get an idea of “as within, so without” and how the body and skin can absolutely heal. We did Etiotherapy to slowly start to process some of the trauma along with facial treatments and her skin completely cleared along with her PCOS and debilitating periods. She had quite significant scarring and I begged her to wait and not do any invasive procedures but instead do the opposite and be very gentle and intensional with her home care bringing a new compassion to herself and her skin. I explained that as the trauma, shame, anger, confusion and sadness were given a space to be felt and heard, her scars would continue to heal. I told her when she sees the scars to focus on bringing softness rather than trying to burn or scrub them off her face or avoid looking in the mirror. We worked together for about 8 months and in that time I watched her transform. She was able to finally clear out a lot that was bound up inside her and as that was sifted through and processed a gorgeous confident woman emerged. Her skin did completely heal without a scar or mark left but it became such a secondary piece to her transformation. 

I share this as again it is unfortunately so common and because so much of what we are taught about the skin and the body when it come to health is frankly outdated and needs a refresh in my opinion. Your emotions are not separate from your physical or hormonal systems, obviously, so why do we treat the body this way? Knowing that that was the root of her breakouts you can see how deep needling treatments or harsh peels aren’t exactly the right medicine. It doesn’t need to hurt so you know its working…

Another woman I worked with had a few rather pronounced, deep wrinkles on her forehead that concerned her. I explained to her that I felt they were linked to two very specific ages and asked her to just notice what she felt in her body or what thoughts or memories came up while I worked over them. She repeatedly told me no, nothing comes to mind for those dates, I must be wrong and rather than moving on I let us just continue to sit in an uncomfortable, awkward moment and then voila, there it was. I watched her go a bit pale, her breathing slowed as she went inward with her thoughts and tears started to stream down her face. She remembered a traumatic incidence from that exact age that she had completely repressed for nearly 40 years. We talked about it as she emerged from the memory she was in and the lines softened before our eyes. It’s honestly unbelievable to witness. Most people are quite skeptical at first that something so seemingly unrelated could effect their skin but then on the other side of it they get it and the results speak for themselves. 

Don’t be afraid to sit with yourself and each other in this way! We need it now more than ever. 

Colette x 





1 Response


July 28, 2023

Wow. I have been looking for this for so long. Thank you so much for sharing these stories – they are confirming what I have been feeling recently, despite being told by doctors and dermatologists that I need to go further in treating the symptoms, as they’re only getting worse with each treatment.

I’m so happy I found this – and your generosity to share so much.

Thank you thank you

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